Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The Forgotten Blog........................

SO, that's what my husband says this blog is now (which was a bit harsh I thought but probably true and I am NOT capable of keeping up with 2 blogs and a FACEBOOK, btw please find me if you are on FB, Kelly Wilkinson Bullock, is this too much for parenthesis) so I will be posting from Bullock Family from now on, for sure need to stay connected because we just might be going back..................

Monday, July 26, 2010

God Story #1

I'll begin by giving you a brief overview of our trip to put everything into context. Basically each day we awoke around 7ish, ate breakfast at the guest house, then got on the bus around 9, from there we traveled to various ministries and orphanages, some 30 minutes away, some 2-3 hours away. Some were so poor and remote that you thought you were going to get a disease just breathing and some were well run, clean, and full of joy. We usually arrived back at the guest house late, ate dinner and then crashed. We literally visited like 10 or so places so to recap them all would be impossible. So my plan for the next week or so is to share two over arching ministries and then the things we can do to help. As I told you before, the needs were beyond overwhelming. Almost every night I would go back and ask Jesus to show me how my "little life" could make a difference in this vast poverty and He assured me that I could. So I want to warn you on the front end that as you read this your heart may rip from your chest, but there IS a way we can help.
So our first stop along the way will be in an undisclosed location in Ethiopia. It was actually our 2nd stop of the week in Ethiopia and it was a good thing it wasn't our first. To give you a little background about this place, it is a dump (or what we may call a landfill). I got to hear testimonies from several men that had lived there their entire lives which made the entire place come alive in my imagination. Basically to make a very long story short, many years ago, (like 75) leprosy was rampant across the area and an American Doctor had just just come in and built a hospital to treat these patients. I am certainly the furthest thing from medical, but evidently, even at that time, as long as the disease was caught in the early stages it was treatable, but there were two problems, one was money (if you are too poor to eat, traveling to get medication is out of your scope of options) and two, false religious beliefs. People believed that leprosy was a curse and literally if your own families members found out that you had the disease they would at best disown you and at worst take you out and shoot you.
That's what happened to our friend S's father. He got leprosy from walking bare foot in the fields, tending the cattle. He hid it from his family for a brief time, but then his father found out. His father sent his brother to take him to the woods and kill him. He did that or at least so he thought, he shot him in the FACE and left him for dead. Yes this was his nephew. SO, because God is radical always, he saved S's father life, a couple found him and took him to that hospital I mentioned earlier, he was treated for his leprosy and healed. S did say that his father's face was still horrific, but he lived. He also met a lovely wife and they were married. But then the troubles continue. Once you have had leprosy and been ostracized from your family you can't exactly go back to town and work, so in order to provide food and shelter for his new family, S's dad relocated to the dump. He built a "house" there, had some children, and then the troubles continue. The country's leadership at that time was corrupt and would often visit the dump and slaughter whomever they came in contact with in order to rid the country of the "cursed people". Now is a good time to mention to you that sweet S has now been born and is SEVERAL years YOUNGER than me. So when S's parents would go to the dump to dig for food or items to sell they had to take S and his siblings to the woods and tie them up so they would be safe. At this time S is about 4 years old. S grows up, becomes a young teen and decides he has got to get out. He and his friend walk into town and sneak on a train to go and join the military, they have no desire to do this, they are not legally old enough to carry a weapon, yet they know this route will ensure them 3 meals a day so it is there only option. They get there, go through the line and get assigned a military uniform (which is 10 sizes too big) and then during line up they get thrown out. S explained it to us like this, we were so skinny, that even just walking through town it was known we were from Korah. S and his friend come back home, depressed and hopeless, they walk into the dump and JESUS shows up! He comes in the form of a man named Chuck Reinhold, a man who journeyed to Ethiopia to start Young Life there and had just "stumbled" upon this place. That sweet man of God talks to those boys, then day after day invites them back to their house. They are in total awe because no one from Ethiopia will even talk to them because of their outcast status, and now they are dining with foreigners. Chuck and his team tell them about Jesus, they are beyond trilled that the God of all the universe cares for them and loves them. And Chuck sets up a way for them to be sponsored and go to boarding school. WOW, how gracious is our Father to execute the impossible.

There is just one small problem, our dear friend S, he never gets sponsored...........He never gets to go to boarding school. All of his friends get to go, but not him. This is a good time to remind you again that S is younger than me. Ok, so year after year, his friends come back, they are strong men from being fed well, but not S, he is still skinny. Why God? Why have you turned your back on me? Why have you not opened the door for me? He fights those feelings, starts a Bible Study in the dump, and then gets a job in town with a Christian guest house to tour missionaries through Ethiopia, at least there he can get some food.

Well why do you think God didn't take sweet S from the dump? Often times if God removes us, our heart for the people will be removed as well. God gives S a vision to help the people of this place, but he doesn't even have the money or the means to eat, much less start a ministry. And then ONE DAY, a team comes in from Tennessee (not us, this is a few months back), they are touring with S and an orphanage they are supposed to visit backs out because they are celebrating Ethiopian Christmas. What will we do, asks the team, how will we help someone celebrate Ethiopian Christmas? S is brave, he speaks up, let's take a meal to the dump. This place wasn't exactly on the tour of places to visit back then. So they go, they grab some goats and put them on top of the van, alive, they pay two men to come with them to slaughter and skin the goats for the feast. They get there and the men realize where they are and run back to town for their lives, the cursed people, no way. So some men at this place, who probably have never even seen a goat, jump in, slaughter, skin, cook and celebrate like never before. Later as the team is sitting down for their dinner (to say we can't eat freshly slaughtered goat in Ethiopia is an understatement for several reasons) a sweet lady sits across from S. She starts asking him questions, he says in his mind "I am not sharing my vision again, I am so tired of sharing my vision and it never happening" but God gives him the grace and the rest in very recent history. In a few short months, that sweet gal has moved to Ethiopia, they have set up a sponsorship program for 300 kids to go to boarding school (that's as many as the school could hold). We asked who else goes to that boarding school (as we know it wasn't built for the kids at the dump) and they said, "the richest in Ethiopia" and we smile at God's grace. They have also started a shelter for the horrifically poor, a church, and summer camp for the children where they will at least get one hot meal a day.

So that's where we went my friends. We went to the dump and we fell so madly in love that life will never be the same. I think everyone in the group would have canceled the rest of the trip and just stayed there and been happy. Those kids were so alive BECAUSE THEY HAD HOPE! We did a tour of homes, far from something you would do in a big southern town in America. We entered one home that was about the size of Cross' room (maybe a 10X12) and 14 people lived there. There were 3 beds, but on one side of the room, the roof leaked so they had to rotate sleeping throughout the night on the two beds that were dry. The kids had no clothes on, the mother and grandmother looked about 100, but no one there lives to be much over 50 or 60. The next home on our tour took us to a house about the size of my tiny little hallway. There lived 5 teenage boys who were a part of the ministry's program. They had been set up there until they could go to school. I am sure they were all orphans. Only two were home, the others were out digging in the dump. I did not get to go to the actual dump because there was some hostility arising with Americans coming in and taking photos. The people had asked, "what are we animals in a zoo that you would like to photograph". With a group of 22, we were a white sceptical everywhere we went so half of us stayed back. Their feelings were right, evidently others had come, taken photos, yet nothing had changed.
So to end this post, I would like to introduce to you some of my friends. The very handsome young man right about the post is the young man that Jeremy and I sponsored. "Picking" someone to sponsor was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my entire life. It was like picking someone's life to save. But I vowed as I picked my friend who I had fallen in love with the first visit, that I would do everything in my power to make sure all 300 that qualified were sponsored in time for school to start in September. My young man was so incredibly humble and smart. He spoke some English, he interpreted for me all day, he never once asked me to sponsor him. Finally I asked him if he had been sponsored (I assumed he had) and he hung his head and said no. I knew I couldn't let him be another S who didn't get out. But there were so many others, promising young men and precious young girls. Two musts on my list are Baza (at the very top) and Brooktie (2nd from the bottom). Roll your R's my friends. Her name is so beautiful. I think I may have to get a second job if they are not sponsored soon. Baza had no parents and was so thin that I think if you tapped her with your finger she would break, but her kisses and her smile lit up my entire life. I can still see her as I was driving away leaping and blowing me kisses. And Brooktie, so polite, so grown up, with so much promise in her future. She would be brilliant I know.

You see schools there are not free and families that can't feed themselves can't send their kids to school because not only can they not afford the schools, but then their children will not be able to eat because they wouldn't have spent the day in the dump digging for food. But at boarding school ALL of that problem is solved. At first when I heard the word boarding school I thought, "oh wow, that is probably very expensive", that was a dumb thought when comparing anything in Ethiopia to the American dollar, $700 a YEAR, that's it! Only $58.33 a month and a child's entire life will change. They told us that people with an education will flourish in Ethiopia, it is just so difficult to come from poverty and end up with an education.

So I am speaking to you from the kids at the dump, please, please, please sponsor at least one! They will know you and love you and know your name and brag about you (several who were sponsored kept asking me if I knew "so in so" because they knew I was from TN). You will in many ways literally be their parents. I also learned so much while I was there about how no organization could reach all of the people in the world. That is why we have Compassion and so many organizations like these. Compassion has a home office in Ethiopia, but it would be impossible for them to reach that whole country and after touring parts of it I can most certainly see why. There are over 130,000 people living in this dump alone. This sponsorship program is just their step one. There is still a vast amount of work to do, but for every life that is changed, it will equate a family that will eventually be freed.
So how do you get started? Well here is the link to the awesome people back here in the states that are spear heading all of the logistics of the program. Basically the missionaries there, along with S, and the pastor of the church are overseeing who qualifies for sponsorship and then a team here in Nashville runs the "business" side of things. They wanted to make it very clear to us that 100% of the sponsored funds went to that child. No ministry costs were involved in this what-so-ever. Unless you want to sponsor Baza or Brooktie (which I am praying that you do) you can just contact them and they have the children set up on a "need" basis, I am assuming the older ones are first and the ones who are orphaned or who are in extreme poverty conditions. There are no words for the pride I felt having a blog community I could come home to that I knew would help, actually who would be dying to help and already asking me how they could help. I love my friends and I have not yet mentioned this, but knowing that you were praying me through gave me the grace to laugh at satan's schemes. He is defeated and no matter his attempts to brag in the middle of the dump, in Ethiopia, God has already worked all things for good there for those who have put their hope in Christ Jesus. satan will be sorry I know. So until next time, change someone's life. There will be no greater high and no thicker of His presence than this. I have been so convicted this week at my ignorance of our calling from the Word to minister to the poor. I have never met someone that literally had NO clothing until this week. I have never met anyone that was digging through a dump to get food and unlike in America, there is no welfare program or homeless shelter to be found. There is no such thing as a food stamp there. There is no Medicare or Medicaid, only the hands and feet of Jesus and that was an awe striking honor. I love you guys, come with me to Ethiopia, we just can't sit around here any longer!


Sunday, July 25, 2010

Good Morning Blog World, from my comfy couch....

Hello sweet friends, I awoke this a.m. dying to say hello to you. So much has happened in these last 10 days so I am just going to try to start typing and see where God leads. I am on my comfy couch with my sweet puppy snuggled in tight. I awoke at 4:00 a.m. and I couldn't have been more thrilled to have some time alone. When you are rooming with two other gals and 6 others right behind the next door, alone time with Jesus is almost impossible. I didn't realize just how much I cherished my coffee/Jesus time in the a.m.'s until they were gone. So Snick and I come to you this morning thrilled to be hearing the birds chirp before the pitter patter of feet (more like romping roar) come down that hallway. A lot has happened travel wise and warfare wise in the last 2 days. Our plane left Addis Friday night (their time) and traveled 14 hours home and then landed in D.C. at 8 a.m. (our time) Saturday morning. Unfortunately Thursday night my allergies decided to go haywire, so to say I had an uncomfortable flight was an understatement. I kept saying to myself, don't complain, don't complain, but when I arrived at the ticket booth in D.C. and they said I had no ticket for my Nashville flight I broke down. I had been running a fever all night long, I had had little to no sleep, and because it was "night" yet 14 hours had gone by, I think I was starving and dehydrated as well. I started crying to the ticket lady, had to be bussed to a different airport, and then there they told me I had to pay $25 to check my bag, another devastating moment (in context of my sanity) because I had $10 to my name and no debit card. BUT all worked out, I had a glorious lunch in DC with a dear friend who I hadn't seen in years. A lunch date that made me so sad we were so far apart, but also a wonderful friend to debrief with because she is sold out to Christ and totally helping others with her American "wealth" so that was God's great gift after a long hard night. Then I hugged her neck, went back to the airport and heard the dreaded word...............delayed, oh wait, not my flight though, thank you JESUS, got on the plane, on the runway, and then let me ask you, have you ever had a plane slam on its breaks during takeoff?? NOT ENCOURAGING, so 1.5 hours later and a God appointment with a sweet girl and her adorable baby next to me, we were off. My new friend and I laughed about how we both would have had a nervous breakdown if we hadn't had each other. By this time I literally cannot hear because of my sinus' and the cabin pressure. I am also so disoriented from lack of sleep that when I saw my son, I almost didn't even know how to react. I then got to the swarm of the airport luggage claim which was chaos and I had the oddest feeling, I didn't want to be back. I walked into my house and it was literally like slow motion, like walking into a mansion. I told Jeremy (who btw IS the most godly man on earth) that I was overwhelmed and he just let me cry. He put Cross to bed for me and told me to take a bath. I laughed and thought, he probably doesn't want me in bed after visiting the dump followed by 24 hours of travel. I was so yuck. My body was in pain in so many ways. Brushing my teeth felt so good. I ended the night with 1,000 God stories (and pictures) with my man and then I finally hit the wall and went straight to sleep. I awoke this a.m. feeling so much better, thinking I really can live life here, somehow, some way, but at the same time dreading the routine of it all. I told J it was so odd, one day I am walking in the dump hugging kids and the next day I am strolling through the streets of D.C. where not even so much as a blade of grass was out of place. That is a hard transition. My blackberry seems beyond overwhelming after 10 days of being unplugged. It will still just take me a lot of time to process it all. I will say this, in the gospels, it often mentions that all the miracles of Jesus were too great to pen, well that is most certainly true. For me to get on and share the hard parts, that is totally doable, but for me to start a post with the God stories, now that is too great to pen. But don't you worry, I am going to give it my all, it just may not all be this morning. But I AM going to tell you of His great mercy and grace, of His divine appointments, and of His presence so thick when you are hugging someone who is literally starving. And then finally I am going to tell you what we can do to help. Our part is so easy! It is nothing in comparison to the miracles He has worked. I also want to "introduce" you to some of the godly men and women there who are living radical lives like we Americans have never even dreamed. I am going to give you some faces to put with some names. And WE are going to rock this world for Jesus my friends, one life at a time, and I can't wait! But as for now, I am going to get prepared for that sweet boy to awake! I am going to get prepared to go worship my Jesus this a.m. like I have never worshipped Him before. I will have to refrain myself from sprawling across the alter (at church at least) but I cannot wait to sing me some praise music (IN ENGLISH hahahaha) and beg Him to use me to change the world.

But I will ask your prayers for one thing in the mean time. I came home to some news that bothered me. Not only was satan trying to attack me physically, but he had been messing with my man as well. At the beginning of my trip J had to take the car in to be fixed and I want you to take a huge guess at how much that cost?? $1200, yes 12 HUNDRED dollars, and then at the end of my time away he came down with pneumonia, WHAT?? Yes, that is what I said, from Thursday on he has been down for the count. My precious in-laws have of course done everything for him and Cross, but it made me so mad I wanted to spit. Now I know in life "things happen" but I knew this was so much more. We better never for one second think that a war is not waging in the heavenlies when people have their eyes open to help the poor. I want you all to pray that we push through. Pray that we seek Jesus and His will for our future and pray that we obey regardless of what the checking account says or what our "poor" bodies have to endure. Neither can compare to the lives of the people I watched walk through the streets this week. I am begging you friends, pray us through. "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." May we never forget that reality! I love you dearly sweet friends and I can just about bet, you will be coming with me to Ethiopia, one way or the other!!!!!!


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Ethiopia Update 3

Hey everybody, Kelly has had some issues with the internet so she will be posting and blogging a lot more when she comes back home. She did want me to direct you to a few other websites at this point. One is the blog of another friend on the trip and the other is the website of the a woman who moved to Ethiopia to start a ministry for those living in the dump. -Friend's blog - Ministry to help people in Ethopia.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Ethiopia Update 2

Hey guys, Going to bed in about two point two seconds, but I had to tell you (IF the internet works which is very unlikely) how things are going. I have been blessed beyond measure and my world has been rocked like I never even thought possible. I have seen poor like I didn't even know poor existed. A boy today in the village dropped his butt in the field because they have NO running water. I have seen goat after goat slaughtered because we have bought food for them to have a "fancy" meal and they don't even bother to walk around the left over blood. I can't tell you how many people I have watched go from complete hopelessness (when we first get there) to complete and utterjoy by the time we left. You have no idea what a little hope does for a heart like that. Jesus is the greatest thing on earth. He loves these people enough to send us 5,000 miles to feed them and show them love. The place we went today has had NO help, none. They don't even know where to start. I am going to decompress a bit and write you guys tons once we get home. I think most things now are too fresh to even discuss and the internet is so iffy that pictures are impossible.

The link to the right for Ordinary Hero's will have some pics from the trip. You can for sure check those and read some more about the trip. I love you guys. WE CANNOT IGNORE THIS! It is too late for all of that. I never knew poor. I have NO problems, no worries, no money problems, no needs, and NO ROOM FOR COMPLAINING. Never ever let me complain again. We are roughing it truly during the day, but we get to come back each night to our guest house and sleep in the most comfortable bed on earth. Speaking of that bed. We are going 2 hours out of the city tomorrow so I have GOT to get some sleep. I was falling asleep in our church service today which felt extremely rude since there is no telling how far those people had walked to come. I will leave you with this. I have never, ever felt so alive in ALL my life! Today I started out tired and cranky and so wanting to make some excuse and stay in my bed and scream (I am sick and tired of MUD) but we went, went to the church service that we couldn't understand and then started serving some people that werehopeless and it showed. But within a few hours, their faces were so bright. I had no lunch, stood up ALL day long, couldn't even take a sip of water (because I would get mobbed) and I was the happiest I have ever been. A pregnant woman looked like she hated the world during that church service and then by the end of the day she was hugging me, kissing me, telling me she loved me and thank you, thank you. I couldn't communicate with her through words, but the practical food and gifts that we gave them spoke more than all of life. We have to help these people, the tiniest bit of our money will change their lives!
Love you tons! HUGS for my men!!!!!!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Ethiopia Update 1.......

Hello Friends and Fam! I am trying to hold my eyes open long enough to say hello. We had a great day today, our first day of visiting orphanages. I had a million emotions. The first of my emotions was one of TOTAL devistation. The babies all had this HORRIBLE croopy cough. Some of them were extremely wet (yes like with pee), malnourished, and sickly, yet others were thriving. One thing I have learned is that most of these children's parents have died of HIV so they are very well mannered because most of them have not been abused, just orphaned. Regardless it is heart breaking all the way around. I also thought the "bigcity" was going to be much less poor, but I was wrong.

On a good note, our leader has a one track mind,"how can we bless their socks off" so we bought that orphanage a washer today and they were beyond thrilled. We have plans to provide something similar to each group and for once in my life, I can't even fatham spending a penny on myself. I had a few bites of a protein bar today and I couldn't finish it. A girl walked up and put her arm out and I could hardly get it in her hand fast enough.

The hardest part for me is in any situation that feels hopeless, I want to run. I wanted to run home today, forget all that I had seen, and go back to my fam, my electricity, and my nice cozy life and never look back. I wanted everything to be fixed from underground sewage to the meds this one baby needed so desperately just to survive. The little baby I am holding in one of the pictures is 5 MONTHS OLD. She looks no more than 1 month old. I wanted to scream and then I found out that she was being adopted, she and her twin sister who was super healthy, they are going home sweet home soon. That changed everything. I no longer felt so hopeless. I knew that although there was a world of work to do, just in this one city even, there WAS HOPE! Really there is hope because there IS Jesus!

Our leader's organization is called "Ordinary Hero", what a perfect phrase. We can't fix it all, we can't change the city, avoid any and all corruption in the adoption process, or even make sure the kids keep having warm meals, but we can do something. I ask you to ask yourself, in whatever way, are you being an ordinary hero? My friend's ministry just helps with whatever need that comes across their lap. It's that simple. They know they can't change the world, but they also avoid my normal reaction of doing nothing. So this week, I am going to push through and try to be an ordinary hero. I am going to get over the fact that my shower is like ice, that I am only a non-picky eater in the US, and that I can't go in and change the whole entire system. I am going to do something, somehow, someway to make a difference in this city, even if it is just for one. I thought that often today, "if we all just took one", "if we all just did our part", PROBLEM SOLVED. But the only thing I can control is ME.

I love you guys! I thank you and COVET your prayers. You have no idea how thankful I am that I know I am being prayed through. So, until next time, we are in Ethiopia! I am going to a dump tomorrow to work with 400 kids so pray lots. My heart break today will not compare to what we will experience tomorrow. Thankfully someone who came on one of these trips a few months back has moved here to help those children specifically so there will be hope and I may be able to share some ways that we can specifically help them tomorrow. I'll let you know. I am seeing first hand what the heck a missionary does. Sometimes they just see a need and hop on board with Jesus and start meeting it! Jesus use us, forgive us, help us try! We love you so and we are so thankful you thought we were worth paying it all!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

DC First.........................

Hey guys, Ok, I have tried to type this blog like 5 times now and really have no idea where to even begin. I feel overwhelmed by so much that is happening and so much
to tell that I am hesitant to even start, but I'm going to attempt to give it a shot. Forgive me on the front end, I am certain to ramble and change topics like never
before. I am also going to be in DC now for like 8 hours so I will attempt to keep it at a doable length. I am so thankful for this trip for a million reasons. I have
loved the thought of getting away and getting my mind OFF of me. I love the thought of being around people that are passionately in love with Christ. I love the
thought of my bag being the small carry on and the two huge bags being full of supplies for the orphanages. That is how our leader requested us to
pack and I can't tell you how huge that was for her set that as the norm. I laughed so hard at myself preparing for the trip. My flesh desired new plush cotton pants
from Gap to travel in (I am not joking, that thought crossed my mind), I had to start making space cuts and my hair product was one (and I felt sacrificial) and then finally, I made certain to
bleach my teeth last night because you know that is going to be important, NOT. Good gracious I have such a long way to go. I am also beyond thrilled because our leader's
husband brought us all a copy of "Radical" by David Platt so I will get the special (and rare) treat of reading an entire book in total peace and that will most certainly
be a Jesus blessing. So where to begin..............

1. My man, I don't think I have ever been so in love with my man. We had a glorious family date night last night which was a HUGE blessing for us. I will be the first to
say we haven't always made the most of our options on a tight budget, but it was so much fun last night to have a little wiggle room and all go out and make a memory.
We took Cross to go see Toy Story 3. He did great, we loved it, and we smiled nonstop for an hour watching his reaction to the whole experience. Then we went to Old
Chicago for Pizza. Cross' dinner consisted of a pack of Roll O's, 3 bites of pizza and two Cherry Lemonades. That made me laugh, thinking of all my hard work as a mom
making homemade baby food.

Ok, where was I, oh Yes, my man. HE IS SO GODLY. I just want to say that he has supported me and shown me love and encouraged me, and it has meant the absolute world to me.
I am so thankful God gave me that man. Also, that sweet little boy I get to call son, is more adorable than I can bare. I am going to attempt to post family pictures
as well. Although they have nothing to do with Africa necessarily, they mean everything to me.

2. Trips like this put all of life into perspective. I have heard negative comments about short term mission trips and the "value" they have to the cities visited, but I am certain
that me getting over myself will hold value to someone, somewhere along the way. I know it will most certainly make me more like Christ. I also thought it was so cool
that J and a dear friend prayed the same prayer over me, that I would experience God's love for ME like never before. I have thought of this trip as me showing God's
love, but never dreamed that He would plan to lavish me with His, what an honor. I will say that I most certainly woke this a.m. with the certainty of my need for
His grace. I hit that floor with my face as if there were no other early options and I thought how beneficial it would be for me to realize my need for that
same grace daily just to raise my son or to be content. Hopefully I will learn.

3. I am also overwhelmed by His provision. Cross is perfectly squared away. Every single need we have had has been met, the trip, the shots, even the spending money. He
truly foots the bill for His will. I am also beyond honored that you guys would see fit to join me on this journey.

I think more and more I am seeing my need for my heart
to break. I think of the words to a song "break my heart for what breaks Yours". Uh yeah! I need that. My heart breaks now more so when I don't get MY way. I also
never want to ignore the true fact that tons and tons of babies really don't have a mama. I don't want to ignore the fact that the world is bigger than Clarksville, TN.
And most of all, I need to wrestle with the question of "Am I really about God's plan or more about my own?" Those of you that may not know me well may think I am being
a bit harsh on myself, but trust me, I know my heart. I began this walk in 2003 wanting His will and His alone, but lately I have so much more preferred that He
grant me mine. He has not complied (graciously) and I want to start seeking again. I want to be RADICAL but the pull of this stupid world, even the comfortable
Christian world is harsh. If you are not struggling with this issue, by all means, don't take on any guilt, but if you have been convicted in the same way you can probably
relate. Even "good" things can quickly become idols. I just cashed in my horrific partying self for a moral 2.5 kids with a cute house and cute dog. But when the cute
house and the other 1.5 children weren't coming on the scene I was down right ticked. Why wasn't God blessing me? Why? WHY? Because I never even cared or bothered
to ask just what He would have me do (to a degree) with my life past marrying J. I just decided I would start telling Him.

So, that's where I am as I enter this trip. Beyond humbled, beyond in need of His grace and provision, and in crooked need of a life realignment. I love you guys!
I can't wait to update you along the way. Our travel is an all day layover in DC, followed by a 14 hour flight into Addis, the capital of Ethiopia, and then dinner and
a good night's sleep. We won't actually begin any visits until Friday morning (which will be midnightish Thur/Fri for you) so I will update after that. I love love our team.
They are all so precious. All walks and stages of life, all called by God to this trip. Every one's God story to this journey is so incredibly personal. We have several
others meeting us throughout the day and then we will all head out tonight around 8:30ish. My life is about to change and I know it. That is gloriously exciting, I don't
care what your personality is like. We were made in God's image, made for bigger and better, we are just so often deceived about the avenue to that fact. It is more
blessed to give than it is to receive. I pray I literally live that out, for many more than 10 days. So this is Kelly Bullock signing off. I am on my way to Ethiopia
dear friends, please, please come with me!